One Plastic Bag at a Time

It's official! I have saved one plastic bag.

As I began my search for Ken's Steakhouse Northern Italian Lite dressing (which at this point is becoming more like a divine quest) I was a little nervous - since I would only be buying one thing, it would finally be time for me to put my money where my mouth is. Would I have the strength to withstand the scornful looks and rolling eyes?

Was I ready to be "that woman with the bags"?

The quest for dressing continues but since I can't eat my salad naked I picked up a different dressing and got on line. I had my friend, who for the sake of anonymity I will call February, with me for moral support (if you call endlessly mocking me supportive), which was fortunate because I was on a line with a designated bagger.

Would I have the temerity to tell her to back off? Would I stand my ground?

Well, by the time the woman of a certain nationality which I will not name, in front of me was done, I was so pissed off that I was ready to pluck out the first eyeball that got rolled within five feet of me. The woman, let's call her Natasha, spent a good ten minutes examining her receipt, apparently not wanting to actually pay for any of her groceries. Alas, as public assistance won't pay for everything available in any given supermarket, and after much huffing and puffing she pulled out her Coach leather wallet and begrudgingly handed over $5.

Except she owed $5.45. More huffing and puffing and she forks over another dollar, all the while shaking her head at the indignity of having to pay for her foie gras, and taps her perfectly wrapped nails while she waits for her change.

By this point, I don't care if I become "that woman" because I already have. Except I'm not "that woman with the bags" I'm "that woman with the shrieking child."

Not only am I ready for a confrontation but I'm itching for.

Imagine my disappointment when I say "no bag thanks" and I get NO RESPONSE. Nothing. Not even a mini eye roll.

But at least I saved a bag. (#2 on the list of ways to save the planet.)

I feel so ecologically sound already ... completed #46 on the list, Discover Your Carbon Footprint.

Actually, it was oddly unsatisfying ... Vanity Fair said the test would take into account all sorts of factors like the food I eat and other habits ... but mostly the site asked for energy usage, and there's no way I can really convert the cryptic bill sent to me every two months from KeySpan into kilowatt hours or pounds sterling. I can barely convert Fahrenheit to Celsius without giving myself a headache.

I'm not even sure I can spell Fahrenheit.

BTW - my carbon footprint is 4,968. This is less than the average UK citizen (5,013), so I guess I should be somewhat impressed - have you ever seen those tiny cars they drive? Some of them I believe are so small they are in fact powered by teams of harnessed hamsters.

But that could just be a rumor.

Has this ever happened to you - you learn about a new thing or see an up and coming actor in a popular film and then all of a sudden it seems to be everywhere? (This is particularly true if you watch a lot of Law & Order, which I freely confess I do) And then you wonder how you never noticed it before ...

Like global warming. For me, it started with the Green Issue of Vanity Fair. Inside was a small pull out entitled "What You Can Do - Fifty Ways to Help Save the Planet". I briefly looked at it and then put it aside - as a stay at home mother of a small child, I didn't think there was much I could do about saving the planet. Most days I'm more concerned about saving my sanity.

But all of a sudden global warming seems to be everywhere - on the news regarding hurricane season. On Oprah. Even in the Daily Candy update I get every day.

When Al Gore turned up on The Daily Show I just couldn't ignore it anymore.

So I went back to that pull out and read through it more carefully. Some of the fifty things don't really apply to me (a green funeral? no thanks), but there were definitely a few things in there that would require a small change on my part. Any maybe even save us a little money. Double bonus!

So now I'm on a mission every day now I'm going to try to do just one thing to be a more responsible global citizen.

Basically, I'm saving the world one plastic bag at a time.

Stay tuned.