One Plastic Bag at a Time

Freecycling seems to have struck a chord out there and I can understand why. I personally suffer from being a bit of a clutterbug and sometimes form irrational relationships with inanimate objects, although I consider myself lucky that I only have a mild form of this disorder - it could have been way worse. I won't go into details, but it involves a family member, an old refrigerator, honest to god weeping and even last photos of the old soldier of an appliance as it stood lonely on the curb, destined for the nether regions of Staten Island. Actually, I think that's pretty much the whole borough.

Don't even ask what happened when our Chevy Nova did in fact no longer va ... in this day and age, a grief counselor would have been involved.

But I digress. While I would be willing to part with a lot of my stuff if I knew it was being used by someone else, I can tell you that is easier said than done. In fact, the only thing that is harder in New York City than finding a decent apartment or explaining the concept of life/work balance to your steroid crazed midget boss who does in fact live to work is to try to give something away through Craigslist. That is a story for another post.

Imagine my joy when I finally got around to reading the Sunday Times and discovered the program Furnish a Future. It's one of the many programs funded through Brooke Astor's charitable donations, and I was glad to see that with all the tawdry news about her current condition, this wee item of news managed to make it into print.

If you live in New York and it kills you to get rid of your starter furniture because you're sure that someone could use it, you are right. Furnish a future collects furniture, among other things, for families that have recently been homeless and now have housing but nothing to sit or sleep on. A full list is available on their website.

So if you've been hanging on to that ginormous faux oak entertainment unit because you just couldn't bear to see it go into the back of a sanitation truck (nor could you bear to witness the hernias to be inflicted by the poor DSNY souls who had to lift the damn thing) here's your opportunity to get back some space and bask in the glow of having helped someone out at the same time.

My favorite part of the article in today's Times was that it was right above another heart-wrenching tale of tears and angst following the retirement of the highly revered Valentina Bobric, the queen of eyebrows at the Red Door Spa.

And that's why I love New York.

My local health food store is a funny place - beside being a total throwback to the stores I remember from the 1970's with that funny vitamin smell that GNC used to have before they became legal drug pushers, it seems that every time I walk by one of the owners is outside puffing away on a cigarette.

That alone is not odd, but when compounded by the observation that his partner is a woman who weighs at least 250lbs and huffs and puffs considerably when she walks down the street, it makes you wonder how they make a living selling health food.

Maybe it's the mom approach to health food - "Do as I say, not as I do!"

Now that I have seen the light, my life is now fraught with decisions I never had to make before. It goes beyond declining a bag, an action that I do these days without barely thinking. I've changed my lightbulbs, cleaned the air filter in the A/C, and recycle religiously. I'm freecycling where possible and developing a whole new vocabulary.

I'm thinking global and drinking local, thanks to Brooklyn Lager and Blue Point Brewery!.

But there's so much more ... because I'm living La Vida Lohas.

LOHAS is Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability. And it extends to every aspect of your life, the way you shop, the way you eat, how you invest, even how and where you travel.

As far as I think I've come, I apparently have a long way to go.

But for now I'll take credit for the fact that my sushi tonight was delivered by a guy on a bicycle. It's something!

This is a public service announcement for all of you out there who do yoga at the gym or a studio.

Buy a mat.

I've always been a little queasy at the thought of using the mats at the gym and bought my own years ago. Think about it - whether you're going a very active form of yoga or something a little more stretchy, you're still going to sweat. Then, at the end of the class, you roll all that sweat up in the mat and let biology do it's thing.

And hot yoga - don't even get me started on that. Take lots of sweating, a warm, moist environment and what do you get? Human bacteria frappe.

For more info, check out this story on the NYTimes website.

Namaste!

Today Exxon Mobil announced it's quarterly earnings. $10.36 billion dollars.

Yes, billions. Yes, that figure is Exxon's PROFIT, not it's revenues for the second quarter of this year.

On the heels of yesterday's announcement from ConocoPhillips of a profit of a paltry $5 billion, is it any wonder that alternative fuel solutions are still years away?

On the one hand, I'm glad for this news - perhaps consumer outrage will finally prod a bought and paid for Congress to (a) end corporate welfare and (b) provide the funding needed for research of alternative fuels.

On the other hand, of course I'm outraged - those profits are at the expense of the average American consumer.

And to those who voted for W, I say you have no right to complain about how much it is costing to fill your tank. When you elect an oilman as a president, do you really think he's going to turn on his friends and push for the obsolescence of their industry? If you're going to vote for a "CEO" president, don't act all surprised when he is more concerned about the health and welfare of businesses over yours.

I know it's been a few days, but I've been reeling since I received my electric bill on Tuesday ... those few days of 100 degree weather here in NY left me no choice but to run the A/C ... and DOUBLED my bill.

Doubled.

So I've cleaned the filter again but now that I look more closely I see that there is no Energy Star sticker on the unit, which is making me wonder how old it is ... it might be time to get a new unit!

On other fronts, there was an interesting item on Ideal Bite about ziploc bags that you might want to take a look at. I get their daily tip and they're pretty good.

Food Miles Matter - #13 on the list.

I've been meaning to get to the Farmers' Market for some time now, and this seems like an even more logical proposition after I got sick from cockels last week ... from New Zealand. With the Slow Food movement catching on and the use of only the freshest and most seasonal of ingredients the hallmark of finer dining, perhaps it for the best to get back to basics. Old is new again, as it always eventually is.

But I think some are taking it a little too far. The bag of chips I picked up to go with my salsa have this backstory:

Our mission has always been to provide the best and unique all natural products made with authentic ancient recipes.

We invite you to try our totopos with any of our salsas. All have been carefully recreated from Aztec and Mayan recipes.

Really. Because I guess we all know that there's nothing better to do with the freshly cut out heart of your enemy than to add it a freshly made guacamole!

Calling Molto Montezuma!

The number one thing one can do to save the planet is replace regular incandescent bulbs with compact fluorescent lightbulbs (CFL). Not only is it an easy thing to do, but consider this - according to the VFPO (Vanity Fair Pull-Out - felt the blog was a little low on acronyms these days):

If every American household replaced one regular lightbulb with a CFL, the pollution reduction would be equivalent to removing one million cars from the road.

That's right, ONE MILLION cars (and although that's very serious, of course the only thing I can think of right now is Dr Evil - ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS.) for just changing a lightbulb. [feel free to insert your own lightbulb joke here. How many environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb? None. If the bulb is out, that's the way Nature intended it!]

I picked mine up from Ace Hardware for $7.49 plus tax. I changed my lightbulb and guess what? Not only is it as bright as the original, but because I got a "soft" light version, it has changed the whole look of the room. The light is so environmentally correct, it even makes the paint on the walls look a little more green.

Now that's some lightbulb!

Today I tried organic shade grown coffee for the first time and although at first I wasn't so impressed I think I'm going to have to re-evaluate because since I got home I have played with my son, put him down for his nap, blogged, cleaned the litter box (one less bag in the house!), took out the trash and the recyclables, vacuumed the rugs, started my lunch, realized I was out of Better n Egg (which comes in a recyclable cardboard container! bonus!), ran out to the supermarket, got what I needed AND returned some empty soda bottles (using another bag! double bonus!), AND declined a bag (one more bag saved!), came home, brought the mail in and shredded all the junk (more recyclable paper!), made an omelet while washing the pots from last night's dinner and this morning's breakfast, ate my lunch and did the dishes from lunch.

All in the last 10 minutes.

I think there's another benefit to the shade grown coffee - maybe a hint of extra caffeine? Perhaps ... I'll look it up later after I move the couch to sweep and finish cleaning out my refrigerator.

Now that I've integrated some of the easier steps into my daily routine, I took another look at my pull-out to see what else I could do to help save the planet.

I've been studiously avoiding #16 - Drink Shade-Grown Coffee. There are some things I hold sacred, and my morning cup of coffee is one of them. I have tried all sorts of coffee, from the simplest and cheapest to the fanciest coffee beans grown on only the shady side of the finest azure mountain in the Caribbean picked by hand by virgins under a full moon.

In the end, I settled on good old Chock Full o' Nuts.

It's one thing to talk the talk, and another to walk the walk. Shade grown coffee encourages farmers not to clear cut the land, saving the habitat of over a hundred different species of birds and decreases the use of pesticides and fertilizers.

So off I went to Starbucks today for my first cup of organic shade grown coffee. It has been years since I've been in Starbucks, for the sole reason that I just don't like their coffee.

What struck me was not only the availability of Shade Grown and Fair Trade coffee but the Ethos water, the bleach-free 100% recycled-fiber napkin, my cup had 10% post-consumer recycled fiber (and if I had brought my own cup, I would have received 10 cents off my coffee), even the sleeve was made of 60% post-consumer fiber.

There were even pamphlets by the sugar outlining Starbuck's commitment to Social Responsibility, although judging by slight discoloration, it didn't look like it was the most popular of reading. No big surprise there - who wants to deal with something like that before the morning's first caffeine injection?

Although Starbucks may seem like the typical 800 pound gorilla, seemingly intent on taking over every other corner in Manhattan and across the globe, kudos to them for trying to use their size and prominent position to be a resonsible corporate citizen.

For more about what they're doing, click here. (Disclaimer - I own .0000001 of the company)

By the way, the coffee wasn't bad.

Although the clip below is funny, it wasn't the right one. Here it is.

Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE3QDQI4NBo

Just because a woman invites you to her country doesn't mean she wants to sleep with you.

Especially when she's the Prime Minister.

Now we know why Kyoto is not exactly top priority ... when there are so many hot world leaders to feel up, who can be worried about something as trivial as the environment?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bXyz4HA8Yg

Remember those people yesterday who scoffed about turning off their non-essential appliances? The ones who laughed at the idea of turning off the A/C when they were not home?

Well, they now have their appliances and A/C off - because there's no power in northwestern Queens. Well done consumers! Although that shouldn''t bother them so much, because I'm sure their spending a lot less time at home with the R subway line running less frequently and the W suspended to ... northwestern Queens.

Ain't karma a bitch?

Today's item on the 50 Ways to Help Save the Planet is #12 - Play It Cool. Don't place your air conditioner next to a TV, lamp or other appliance that generates a lot of heat. The heat confuses the A/C thermostat, causing the A/C to run longer than necessary. And ... program your A/C to turn on 30 minutes before you get home, for there is no need to air condition your home when there's no one there.

It's another Africa-hot day here in NY, and I think that the problems in this world can nicely be summed up by the last five minutes of local news I just watched.

Story 1: It is so friggin' hot. Duh.
Story 2: Delta terminal at LaGuardia airport is dark after ConEd cannot provide enough power.
Story 3: ConEd urges all consumers to turn off non-essential items, such as lights, televisions and major appliances. Also request that residents turn off A/C when at work all day, or at least turn it down.
Story 4: Man on the street interviews. People laugh in reporter's face when asked if they would consider turning off A/C when not home. Literally, laugh in his face.
Story 5: Local weatherman tries to fry an egg on the sidewalk. Doesn't fry. Shifts focus to another egg he cracked on the street 10 minutes ago. That one's not frying either. Weatherman's career definitely going to stay local for at least another year, or at least as long as it takes him to try to fry an egg on the SUNNY side of the street. Just a thought.

Apparently as a society we are so incredibly selfish that we won't even consider turning off the A/C when we're not home so that the airport can have power.

I am at a loss for words. Really.

I did have a plan today to do something to save the environment ... but as it seems like the world is burning up even as I speak, I came home instead, shut all my windows and sat in the one air-conditioned room in my apartment for the rest of the day. My boy and I are in AC-lockdown.

Last night I tried watching that Tom Brokaw show on global warming on the Discovery Channel, but I got so sad at the part about the skinny polar bears that I opted for the Style section of the NY Times instead.

Hey, I took just about every form of public transportation to and from my vacation destination last week, I figured since it was still Sunday I was technically still on break.

But on Block Island until Sunday night.

What can I say? Ahead of my time as usual...

On the cover of Newsweek no less!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13768213/site/newsweek/

I've been getting some email about that there's more to the whole plastic bag thing than just refusing them at the supermarket and everywhere else. That I could use them for other things, and then that would be good for the environment too.

I couldn't agree more! Reduce, Reuse, Recycle ... I'm writing about the reducing, but believe me, I'm reusing all the plastic bags I accumulated before I started on this endeavor.

Plastic bags are everywhere in my house - in every wastepaper basket and small garbage can. I use them for kitty litter and for as many other things as I can think of.

But the fact of the matter is that I could wrap every kitty turd in its own plastic bag every day and I still would have tons of plastic bags. The entire space under my sink is stuffed with these plastic bags to the point where I think that they have formed almost one solid mass.

Because at the end of the day, no matter how many new uses you can come up with for the plastic bags, the fact is that we are just using too many plastic bags that are just not necessary.

Except for me, of course!

It's a simple enough thing, right? You go to the supermarket, you bring back your recyclables, you buy some more stuff, you come home.

Even easier if you can split up the chore ... so while my husband went to get our eggs, (in the eco-friendly cardboard container, of course) I went to return my bottles. They are in pristine condition - rinsed, dried, and so on ... I did everything but tie a bow around them so there shouldn't be any problems.

I go to the check out line and tell the moron of the day and say "I'm returning these." She looks scared and confused and immediately calls for help. Moron #2 approaches.

M1: "She's returning these. How do I do this?"
M2: "You're returning these?" She's positively incredulous.
Me: "Yes. They're all in there." I'm really not understanding what the problem is, I'm guessing it's the math - 12 x 5? For Christ's sake, no one told her that calculus would be required on the job!

M1: "I think I need your card." M2 is apparently a SUPERVISOR of some sort.
M2: "Yeah. Here." Swipes her card. Looks in the bag, then looks at me like I'm a crazy woman.
M2: "They're empty!"

At this point, I don't know whether to slap my head, slap her head, or slap both of their heads together in the hope that somehow this will knock just an iota of sense into one or the other of them.

Me: "Yeesss, they're empty. Now you give me 60 cents. That's how this works."

M1 and M2 look at each other in complete bafflement, and decide that it's easier to give me the money and get rid of me than to figure out what's going on. I take my money and walk away muttering, fully aware now of why those people you see going through the trash talk to themselves.

It's the idiots at the supermarket that made them crazy!

I was trying to execute #15-Buy Eggs in Cardboard Cartons. But I also had bottles to return.

Who knew it could descend to this level?

More tomorrow.

#19 - Stop The Water.

Sounds simple enough ... I, personally, could save up to 1800 gallons per year just turning off the water while brushing my teeth. Again, I'm surprised at how small a step this is and yet how huge the impact can be.

It's almost too simple, so I'm going to take it a step further - I'll turn off the water while washing my face AND scrubbing pots.

But here's the problem - I don't have a water meter! So I'm looking for a volunteer - if you're interested in taking this simple step with me, send me an email. All you'll have to do is check your last water bill, then make a concerted effort to turn off the water when you brush your teeth, wash your face, etc, and then check back with me a month later and let me know how much of a difference it made.

In the meantime I can't help but notice again that my attempts to save the planet has pissed someone off - this time, it's one of our cats, who happens to love running water. Messing with this cat's mind is not a good thing, he was never playing with a full deck to begin with.

There are innumerable stories I could bore you with, but suffice it to say that we're talking about a cat who is not smart enough to not fall into the toilet. Multiple times. The emotional trauma of the water being turned on (he comes running in - "Woo hoo! Water!") and off (He leaves - "Rats, I missed it.") and on (he comes running in - "Woo hoo! Water!") ... well I think you get the idea.

Just a little more collateral damage in the fight to save the planet I suppose.

Only a week into my experiment and I'm already getting way more comfortable with the "I don't need a bag for that" thing at the supermarket. Maybe they're starting to recognize me, maybe it's because I catch them before they start, but either way, there's a whole lot less plastic bag coming into this house.

But this morning I faced my most fearsome opponent yet.

He goes from smiling cherubic budding capitalist to ice-cold Krazee-eyez killah in a split second. He's the eleven year old bagger, he's working on tips, and I am now his mortal enemy.

We all know how kids are with money ("I want my two dollars!") and I can practically feel the holes burning into my head from Damien's evil glare when he realizes that without a bag there's definitely no tip and if this becomes a trend then he's really screwed.

"I'm saving the earth one plastic bag at a time!" I chirp.

Let me tell you - he could give a shit. He wants his two dollars, and if this whole "save the environment" thing takes off, he's holding me personally responsible.

Today's step to save the planet is a pretty easy one - #38, Recycle Your Newspapers. This is actually required by New York City Law, so it's a no-brainer.

The VF pullout informs me that "Recycling just the Sunday papers would save more than a half a million trees every week."

Due to some very rainy weather (and a very lazy me) over the last few weeks it's been a while since I bundled up my newspapers. Considering the only newspaper we read is the Sunday NY Times, I was shocked when I was done tying up the paper's for tonight's recycling.

We waste a lot of money on newspapers we don't read.

It's too bad the Times isn't like cable TV, where I could pick and choose the sections I'd wanted. Hell, I could reduce the size of the Sunday Times to FIVE sections - The City, Style, the Magazine, Week in Review and the first section.

Think of how many trees we could save that way!

The thing that gives me the most hope about my mission to save the planet is how very simple and easy some of the ways are.

For instance, #31 - Turn Off Your Chargers. It seems that most cell-phone chargers draw electricity even when the phone is not plugged in. How much of a difference could that really make? According to the Vanity Fair pullout, more than 40 kilowatt-hours every year, or approximately 93 pounds of carbon dioxide.

Sounds like a lot, right? For such a simple thing?

So I've done it, the chargers are all unplugged. I think we can all see where this is going ... at some point, one of the following things is bound to happen:

1. I'm going to lose the charger, because it's not plugged in; or, more likely,
2. I'm going to plug my phone in, forgetting that the charger is not plugged in, and then my phone is going to die at the most inopportune time.

Like girls' night out, when I have to call home and explain that it is VERY IMPORTANT that I stay out for one more drink, because I am having the most DEEP an ENLIGHTENING conversation with my girlfriend (and I'm sure at this point I will be yelling, and probably slurring a bit as well, especially as we have not had a hen night in about six months now so everyone's tolerance is way low) ...

Can you hear me now? At that point, it probably will be better for all of us if no one can. So I'll be saving the planet and doing everyone a favor at the same time.

Oh, I so wish I was making this up.

Recently I've resorted to buying milk by the quart because the milk seems to be going bad in about five minutes (anyone else having this problem?), so off I went this morning to the supermarket for milk for my coffee.

And to make my life even more miserable, I was returning bottles, all this with my boy in a backpack.

The agony started when I attempted to return bottles and buy milk AT THE SAME TIME. Sure enough, I put the bottles on the belt and tell the cashier nine. She peeks in the bag and I'm thinking to myself "Does she think I'm trying to cheat the supermarket out of a nickel?"

Then I hear her muttering under her breath and I realize that this is going to take way longer than it should. For some reason the cashiers at the supermarket are very surly when you return bottles, as if the money is coming directly out of their paychecks, and I figure she's cursing me under her breath.

Nope. She's COUNTING. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five ... and then she LOSES count when she moves to the second bag.

I tell her forty-five just to put us both out of our misery.

Two minutes later she's double-bagged my purchase, consisting of a 2-liter bottle of selzter and a quart of milk. I pull off the outer bag and hand it back to her.

She is not happy.

Supermarket chick: "There's milk in there."
Me: "I know. I live around the corner."

She looks dubious - "around the corner" is a very vague Brooklyn expression that can mean anything from around the corner to 10 blocks away. So I clarify for her.

Me: "No, literally. I live around the corner. Over there." I point to try to assuage her discomfort.

SC: "Are you sure? There's milk in there."

What is it about the milk? Her gaze is pointedly going back and forth between me and my boy, as if to say "If not for yourself, woman, double bag the milk for that precious baby! How could you?" It's as if the world as we know it will come to an end if the milk is not double bagged (which explains the chaos from yesterday - see below).

Me: "Really, I'm fine."

And before I lose any more brain cells or snap like an overworked postal employee, I take my single bag and march out of the store.

Who knew saving the earth one plastic bag at a time would be so friggin' hard?

A real life conversation had by my husband today when he went out to buy a quart of milk.

Husband: "No thanks, I don't need a bag for that."
Supermarket bimbo: "Are you sure?"
H: "Yes, I'm sure. It's a quart of milk. I live around the corner."
SB: "Really? I can put it in a bag for you."
H: "Really. I'm fine. I LIVE AROUND THE CORNER. It's a quart of milk"
SB: "Here." [handing him a bag with a quart of milk in it]
H: "No thanks. Here's your bag."
SB: "Really? Are you sure?"
H: "Yes. REALLY."

Husband huffs out of the store and ALL THE WAY AROUND THE CORNER with his unbagged quart of milk. By the time he walks in the door, he's ranting about some dumb cow, holding a quart of milk, saying "Really? REALLY!" and I was understandably worried.

And then, when I heard the whole story (which thankfully didn't involve an actual cow) I was so proud of him.

I have gotten another report from a friend whose husband turned down a bag when he purchased a single item at a home improvement store. For accounting purposes I'm not counting it, but kudos to him as well!

It's the 4th of July, so I looked for some simple quick way I could help save the planet today (it's 85 degrees already)

I'm opting for #5 - A Glass Act, which exhorts me to recycle glass through either curbside programs or community drop-off centers. Today I vow that every beer bottle I empty goes into the recycling bin.

From there I know it will be recycled by the countless people who comb through my trash every Thursday night looking for these recyclables - apparently, they haven't gotten George W Bush's good news about how rip-roaring well the economy is doing.

Happy Independence Day!

Paper vs. plastic? I'm not going to get into that debate here because I'm going for a third option - neither!

I have received some emails touting the benefits of plastic over paper ... one in particular caught my attention - Plastic vs paper, specifically touting how superior plastic is over paper and how you are doing a FAVOR to the environment by using plastic.

Except that the site is sponsored by the Film and Bag Federation, whose mission statement is as follows:

The Film and Bag Federation (FBF) is a business unit of the Society of the Plastics Industry, Inc. (SPI) that actively promotes the growth of the plastic film and bag industry.

Then I received this tidbit of information from the EPA's website:


A sturdy, reusable bag needs only be used 11 times to have a lower environmental impact than using 11 disposable plastic bags.

* In New York City alone, one less grocery bag per person per year would reduce waste by five million pounds and save $250,000 in disposal costs.


I don't know what fuzzy math the EPA is using, but with approximately 8 million people living in New York City, that would mean each plastic bag weighs 10 oz. Now that's one heavy duty plastic bag! (I suspect that they meant one bag per person per week for a year or something to that effect - 2000 plastic bags weigh 30 lbs, so five million pounds is 10 billion bags, or 42 bags per NYC resident, assuming 8 million NYC residents).

My point is at the end of the day, I am simply trying to use less in general and make decisions that are more environmentally responsible.

And to be careful not so much of what you read but who wrote it!

How many plastic bags does it take to carry three 2-liter soda bottles one block?

According to the brainiacs at the local supermarket, four.

I had high hopes for my local supermarket, formerly known as the ghetto supermarket. The "international" aisle meant every Goya product ever made, you were greeted by the lovely order of cat pee when you walked in the door, and the bodega rules were in effect - you didn't buy anything that wasn't pre-packaged.

But with a change in ownership, things were looking up. No more mysterious movements in the bins of potatoes, imported beer means something more than Heineken and the meat doesn't look like it's going to show up on the next local news expose of expiration date alterations ... life was looking good except for one thing:

The staff hasn't changed.

We're still stuck with the same gum-cracking muppets who can barely work the register with their one-inch wrapped nails and who need me to tell them how much they owe me when I return six bottles.

You can imagine the response I got when I went to pick up my bag of groceries which consisted of three 2-liter bottles of soda and a small carton of Better n' Eggs (which, by the way, really are better than eggs) and discovered that I in fact had TWO bags. Each double bagged. One with ONE BOTTLE of soda in it.

One.

When I got the eyeroll from the checkout bimbo I wasn't embarrassed, I was pissed. I consolidated my bags into one, and huffed out of there with my head held high.

Let me tell you, do you know what they don't tell you about self-righteous indignation? It feels REAALLLLYY good!

Plastic bags saved: 2 (with 'tude!)

Slowly. Very slowly.

This morning, I embarked on another way to save the planet - #25, Grow Your Own Garden. Seeing as I don't have a garden, I'm limited to herbs, which is fine because (a) it still counts as growing a garden and (b) satisfies the cheapie in me, as I will no longer have to pay $1.99 for the cup of basil I need to make killer bruschetta.

The only problem with the garden is that like most people in this day and age I require instant gratification, so when my basil, parsley and garlic chives fail to appear soon, by this afternoon let's say, I will get very frustrated. In a week when there's still nothing I'll stop watering them and in three weeks I'll be shocked when I actually have some plants.

I almost had to violate rule #18 again, as my son took it upon himself to be my helper. He is showing some early metrosexual tendencies as he promptly began to apply a mud mask to his face. Luckily, I caught him before it got out of hand and required another bath.

And if anyone knows where I can get Thai Basil seeds, or has any suggestions for some other interesting herbs I can grow, send me an email. Thanks!

Take Showers, Not Baths is #18 on the list.

Today I was forced to violate this edict when I had to give my son a bath. In my eyes, I really didn't have a choice, as he grabbed his crap-laden diaper, grew two extra arms and proceeded to smear the contents all over himself, the wall, his clothes, and me faster than you can say "Holy shit." (pun intended).

While I am no germ freak, a kid with a poo-hawk is a little much for me and into the bath he went.

To offset this, I will not shower today. I'm sure on this lovely 89 degree day everyone will appreciate my sacrifice for the cause.

From a distance.

From the Vanity Fair pullout:

Ditch Plastic Bags: Californians Against Waste, a nonprofit environmental advocacy group, estimates that Americans use 84 billion plastic bags annually, a considerable contribution to the 500 billion to one trillion used worldwide. Made from polyethylene, plastic bags are not biodegradable and are making their way into our oceans and waterways. According to recent studies, the oceans are full of tiny fragments of plastic that are beginning to work their way up the food chain. Invest in stronger, re-usable bags, and avoid plastic bags whenever possible.

Think about that the next time you eat sushi.

Oh, Fairway, how I love you so!

For those of you outside New York, let me tell you about Fairway, the fairest market of them all. Take the variety of Whole Foods and the prices from your mega-supermarket and you've got Fairway. And they've got parking, an amenity that is virtually unheard of in this neck of the woods.

Forgive my digression - I'm still a little high from the sight of entire aisles of produce so fresh that getting a pound of sugar peas is not a twenty minute ordeal.

Here was my first opportunity to really make a difference in my quest to save the planet one plastic bag at a time.

I even brought my own plastic bag with me for veggies.

Unfortunately, I still have not developed the proper air of self-righteousness and snuck my plastic bag out as if I were some sort of criminal. Maybe I'm not wearing the right kind of shoes for this, but Tevas are as close as I was going to get. Maybe I need to hug a tree, I don't know.

At the end of the day, I wound up taking home seven plastic bags (not including the one I brought with me). Not bad considering I stopped the cashier from (1) putting the 12pak of beer in a plastic bag (why this would be necessary is beyond me - it's a cardboard container with a HANDLE for the love of God); (2) putting my tomatoes on the vine in a bag (again, they come with their own handle ... you know, the VINE); (3) bagged my own groceries so I didn't wind up with twice as many bags each half full.

I declare it a victory to spend almost $200 and come home with only seven bags.

Number of plastic bags saved: 3. (and that I think is a conservative number!)