The Collapse of Society as We Know It ...
Oh, I so wish I was making this up.
Recently I've resorted to buying milk by the quart because the milk seems to be going bad in about five minutes (anyone else having this problem?), so off I went this morning to the supermarket for milk for my coffee.
And to make my life even more miserable, I was returning bottles, all this with my boy in a backpack.
The agony started when I attempted to return bottles and buy milk AT THE SAME TIME. Sure enough, I put the bottles on the belt and tell the cashier nine. She peeks in the bag and I'm thinking to myself "Does she think I'm trying to cheat the supermarket out of a nickel?"
Then I hear her muttering under her breath and I realize that this is going to take way longer than it should. For some reason the cashiers at the supermarket are very surly when you return bottles, as if the money is coming directly out of their paychecks, and I figure she's cursing me under her breath.
Nope. She's COUNTING. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five ... and then she LOSES count when she moves to the second bag.
I tell her forty-five just to put us both out of our misery.
Two minutes later she's double-bagged my purchase, consisting of a 2-liter bottle of selzter and a quart of milk. I pull off the outer bag and hand it back to her.
She is not happy.
Supermarket chick: "There's milk in there."
Me: "I know. I live around the corner."
She looks dubious - "around the corner" is a very vague Brooklyn expression that can mean anything from around the corner to 10 blocks away. So I clarify for her.
Me: "No, literally. I live around the corner. Over there." I point to try to assuage her discomfort.
SC: "Are you sure? There's milk in there."
What is it about the milk? Her gaze is pointedly going back and forth between me and my boy, as if to say "If not for yourself, woman, double bag the milk for that precious baby! How could you?" It's as if the world as we know it will come to an end if the milk is not double bagged (which explains the chaos from yesterday - see below).
Me: "Really, I'm fine."
And before I lose any more brain cells or snap like an overworked postal employee, I take my single bag and march out of the store.
Who knew saving the earth one plastic bag at a time would be so friggin' hard?
Recently I've resorted to buying milk by the quart because the milk seems to be going bad in about five minutes (anyone else having this problem?), so off I went this morning to the supermarket for milk for my coffee.
And to make my life even more miserable, I was returning bottles, all this with my boy in a backpack.
The agony started when I attempted to return bottles and buy milk AT THE SAME TIME. Sure enough, I put the bottles on the belt and tell the cashier nine. She peeks in the bag and I'm thinking to myself "Does she think I'm trying to cheat the supermarket out of a nickel?"
Then I hear her muttering under her breath and I realize that this is going to take way longer than it should. For some reason the cashiers at the supermarket are very surly when you return bottles, as if the money is coming directly out of their paychecks, and I figure she's cursing me under her breath.
Nope. She's COUNTING. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five ... and then she LOSES count when she moves to the second bag.
I tell her forty-five just to put us both out of our misery.
Two minutes later she's double-bagged my purchase, consisting of a 2-liter bottle of selzter and a quart of milk. I pull off the outer bag and hand it back to her.
She is not happy.
Supermarket chick: "There's milk in there."
Me: "I know. I live around the corner."
She looks dubious - "around the corner" is a very vague Brooklyn expression that can mean anything from around the corner to 10 blocks away. So I clarify for her.
Me: "No, literally. I live around the corner. Over there." I point to try to assuage her discomfort.
SC: "Are you sure? There's milk in there."
What is it about the milk? Her gaze is pointedly going back and forth between me and my boy, as if to say "If not for yourself, woman, double bag the milk for that precious baby! How could you?" It's as if the world as we know it will come to an end if the milk is not double bagged (which explains the chaos from yesterday - see below).
Me: "Really, I'm fine."
And before I lose any more brain cells or snap like an overworked postal employee, I take my single bag and march out of the store.
Who knew saving the earth one plastic bag at a time would be so friggin' hard?
Posted at 9:30 AM on
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
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The Collapse of Society as We Know It ... |
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